Poptart
Going to Florida

progress so far, lost 30lbs in these photos. I am guilty though, I didn’t do so well this week and I think I gained a couple pounds, only because I didn’t cook or plan my meals and it is very important you do that when you are on a diet. I am going to Florida tomorrow so I didn’t want to go grocery shopping. When I am on vacation I am still going to try and eat healthy while enjoying my vacation. I hope I have a lot of fun! I haven’t seen my husband for 5 months so this will be the best 2 weeks this year. I hope he notices my progress.

hiking

did a 3 mile hike yesterday was semi challenging enough to make me sweat and tired all day. than today went to the dentist and I am getting braces in june, its gonna be pricey but while I have military benefits this is what I want. lately I have been doing a lot more things I want but it is costing money, I admit I feel bit bad for spending more money because I’ve tried hard to save josh money but I know he wants me to get out of the house have fun do what I want. next months goal is to try to have as much fun as I can while not spending as much as I have this month.

Insecurity Dreams

So last night I had a dream that I was with a group of friends and we were all visiting a beach. We scuba dived in the river/bay area and we could see the houses above our heads. I scuba dived a few times before in real life so I had a better imagination in the dream, was very realistic and pretty. I saw my husband and he was acting distant with me the whole time in my dream. Which is odd I still enjoyed the dream but had mixed feelings like he wasn’t really into me. I must very insecure subconsciously because sense he has been deployed I have many dreams like this where he is distant with me or with another girl. I do know cheating happens a lot in the military probably a good 8 out of 10 of us wives cheat or get cheated on. My husband is currently in Africa and talks to me quite a bit, he works a lot too from my understandings, I believe the most he does is have pizza and go to the casinos. I don’t think he is cheating on me and I think he loves me so I don’t understand why I had this worry. I have been working out very hard so he can be impressed by me. I think many of us military wives go through the same thing. In a way I’m lucky than most military wives because I do not have a child yet. I think that is a hard for a military wife to have the kids, the sacrifice of not being with their lover and the possibilities of him cheating on you or leaving you for someone else in another country, it’s just a stressful lifestyle at times. We also have to sacrifice a lot, our family, our friends, we get put where they are stationed at than not see them for several months at a time, than we go on facebook or some social network and we see our friend complain about how they haven’t seen their man for a week, they freak out, their super paranoid that he is cheating, it’s irritating and insulting to us, whats even more irritating is how ignorant some of our friends can be they think were making “bank” great “lifestyle” the “benefits” they don’t understand all the sacrifices most of us have to make for these small benefits.